5 Reasons You're in Denial
On some level, everyone ignores things that could be beneficial. From trivial stuff like, “I hate flossing,” to loaded issues, “I text and drive but I’m really good at it.” Call this self-sabotage, ignorance, or a cocky attitude, it could become a big problem if not faced head on.
One pitfall is getting so wrapped up in denial that it becomes stuck in the subconscious - then it’s no longer a choice, it’s a habit. Read the five traps below with an open mind to stop swimming in the river of D-Nile.
You’re Putting It Way, Way Off
Embarrassed because you keep saying you’re going to do something but haven’t? You know you should, things would be better if you did, but you cringe at the very thought of it. If you can't quite bite the bullet, there are two active options.
1) Let it go. Accept that for whatever reason, your mind and subconscious are at odds and it’s not gonna happen right now. Move forward to stop feeling stuck. Obviously, don't let something go if it concerns your overall health and wellbeing, but the other stuff like, “I want to get up every day at 5am and run 8 miles” might need tweaking.
2) Get backup. Join a program and round up your friends and family. Above all, be honest: “Look, I don’t want to do this but I know my health depends on it. Help me care.”
Pay close attention to the last time you made an excuse, even if it was valid. Not always, but quite often it’s not something we can’t do, it’s something we don’t want to do. If that entails getting a manicure, you’re in the clear. If it’s going to the doctor to get that lump checked – snap out of it and see #2 above.
Keep it on the DL
Avoiding a topic because you know friends and family don’t agree? Huge red flag. “They won’t understand,” you think. Check in with yourself and see if you’re quiet because you know that they totally and completely do understand.
You have a mind of your own and just because your mom wants you in law school, doesn’t mean that’s what you should do. But if everyone in your family dislikes your significant other because they treat your poorly, listen. If you’re on the fence about what’s right and wrong for you, therapy is an amazing tool to sort out a healthy, unbiased opinion - then you can take action. Do not ignore an issue and hope it will go away. It won’t.
If your nose is growing faster than Pinocchio’s, you’ve got a problemo. While lies are usually a conscious choice, they can be held onto for so long that it starts to feel true. Ask yourself what you’re hiding and why.
You’ve Rolled Over
Avoiding something because you're afraid it won't work out? This will forever keep you stuck. We should always be moving forward and unfortunately, that involves getting out of our comfort zone. The most successful people in history have fallen flat on their faces (publicly) more than once. But they had enough drive to know they would eventually soar and all those people laughing at their failures are now standing in line for a handshake.
Life is full enough of obstacles, we can’t afford to create more. Take the test, quit that habit, face the truth. Gravity is for keeping us grounded, not holding us down.
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